Some funny shit

Lately I've been having writer's block or blogger's block or whatever you wanna call it, and basically I haven't been giving this blog a lot of attention
I still have no idea what to write about so i thought I'd just post some funny shit (or what I thought is funny, you -whoever you are- might not find it funny, although i'm sure if you're looking at this post while intoxicated you'll find it funny, cause drunk people find almost everything funny, anyways I'm digressing so back to the point)

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Crouch: But Ronnie I don't want to touch you

Ronaldo: You have to! Come on remember like that time after that party, that felt good didnt it?

Crouch: I was drunk then -_-

Ronaldo: Either you do it or I'm telling Abby about that night

Crouch: Fucking bastard

Ronaldo: What was that?

Crouch: I said let's just get it over with

Ronaldo: Don't worry it will be over before you know it ;)

Crouch: :(((

Alright enough with this sillyness, what crouch and ronaldo do in the privacy of the stadium is non of our business!

Anyways here are some funny videos that you can watch if you're bored

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Well this is it for now, hopefully my next post will consist of something that I actually put some effort into, instead of finding random pictures and videos
cheers

Didier Drogba: A Class Act

Let's play a game of "can you spot the Drogba?"

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Did you guys spot him? No i'm not talking about spotting him in his portrait, which happens to be the first image, where's the fun in that?
I'm talking about spotting him pulling a funny face behind Bosingwa!
Gotta love Drogba!
Ok so maybe not everyone is fond of Didier, partly because he is known for diving (which of course is a trait that most footballers are cursed with), but I find that there's a certain quality that is endearing about him.
And I rarely find things that are endearing, so that's saying something!
Anyways whether you like Drogs or hate him, he is a world class footballer and dread the day that he anounces his retirement or worse decides to leave chelsea for another team, for that will be the day when you will find me crawled up in my closet crying my eyes out  accepting his decision with calm tenacity like a mature adult.
Anyways I hope that now that the season has started again that i'll be updating this blog which has gone to the dogs sort of like Arsenal has
I hope I'm better at managing this blog than Arsene is at managing his team
so thats its for now
Cheers!

5 reasons why I love David Luiz

5- He's born in april, so am I! Coincidence? I don't think so *does evil laugh* (not so sure what's evil about that but what the heck)

4-His full name is David Luiz Moreira Marinho. As you've noticed (or not depending on your mental capacity) I put emphasis on the Marinho part. Marinho is close to Mourinho ie: the special one, so this is a sign that Luiz is destined for greatness!

3- His hair! His beautiful fluffly curly bouncy hair!

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2-His first goal for chelsea was against manchester united and it helped us achieve victory in that game.

1-And finally the number one reason why i love him is because of his funny and endearing personality



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Well that's all folks, until next time.

Cheers

Is it me...

Or does Carles Puyol look like the doppelganger of the hunchback of notredame?

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Glory Glory Man United

So the champions league final was tonight in Wembley, and from the title of my post you would think that manchester united won. Well no, no they didn't.
They lost, in Wembley, they fucking lost!
That's a fucking disgrace.
Anyways I made some important discoveries during this game.
First of all I thought I was neutral at the beginning of the game, and all was well, that is of course until barcelona scored, when I suddenly realized that no I am not neutral, I want man utd to win, which as a chelsea fan I was horrified to discover!
But I decided that I hate Barcelona even more than I hate man utd!
I never thought the day would come where I would willingly choose Man United over another team, but here we are.
The second discovery was that Mourinho was right! There is a UEFA/FIFA/Barcelona/UNICEF conspiracy going on
Oh and since this was Van Der Sar's last game, it would've been cool if they won and he got to lift that trophy one last time
Oh well, at least Chelsea were kicked out of the competition early and I didn't have to worry about them all night :P
Cheers
(I should probably congratulate Barcelona fans but I don't want to)

I Am Cristiano Ronaldo and I Am Awesome!

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Oh hello there, how have you guys been?

I know, I know, I haven't been as interactive as I used to be, but ever since that epic game between Real Madrid and Barcelona (click here to see what I'm talking about ), when the fans decided that Messi was actually better than me, I've been really blue, and no that does not mean that there is a transfer to Chelsea in my near future. I started doubting myself, stop laughing, I actually did. And I thought well maybe if all those people said that I'm no good then maybe just maybe they're right and that I actually suck at football.

So as you see, I started coming to this little bench, it became like my sanctuary. I come out here to think, to meditate, to contemplate the reasons for my existence!

Seriously guys stop laughing, I'm being serious here!

I mean if I'm not the best footballer then what's my purpose in life?

I don't think i'm good at anything else, well I'm good at diving, but I don't think I can do that professionally!

Hmmm, what else, what else?

Oh wait, there's one other thing I'm good at!

Can you guess what that is?

No, it's not crying like a baby when we lose

No, it's not pouting and sulking when i'm put on the bench

ok that's it shut up!

I'm good with women ok, I can't believe you didn't guess that! You guys suck today

But how can I use that skill?

And I can't really go on screwing different chicks every night, you know now that I'm with Elene, Iris.... you know that model that's on the cover of the sports illustrated swimsuit edition.

I'm sooo horrible I can't even remember my own girlfriend's name.

No wonder I called my kid Cristiano Ronaldo Jr., that way I wouldn't forget his name.

I'm such a sorry excuse for a human being

And i'm blabbing aren't I, I don't even make sense

see I'm not even good at talking

all i'm good at is sitting here and staring off into space

So I'm gonna do that, and maybe have a talk with Kaka, I mean he has barely played all season, he's more of a loser than I am

Maybe that would cheer me up

Or maybe not

I'm out

xoxo Diver Boy

Wenger's equations

Ok so I've talked about this before (I think) but I'm gonna talk about it again. There's this show on youtube, it's called special 1 TV, and I absolutely love it! It's hosted by Mourinho (not the real one obviously, just a puppet of him, but it does sound quiet realistic) hence the name "special 1" TV.

And this is relevent why you ask?

Well it's not really relevent to anything, I just wanted to share one of my all time favourite episodes of the show.

Enjoy :)

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I absolutely love this!

Wenger: The proof, the proof!
Man United divided by blackburn multiplied by blackpool over chelsea as a function of arsenal greater than fulham over everton and stoke minus FA corruption equals premier league! #Wenger's equation

Ha the equations of thermodynamics have nothing on this
As the boy Wayne would say: This is mint!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cheers