Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I am Cristiano Ronaldo & I am Awesome

Hello there. It's been a while, and you're probably thinking that all my problems have been resolved and I
didn't have anything to complain about hence the absence.
 You're wrong my friends, I just thought that since it was christmas and all that I should focus my attention on doing some charity work, so I spent my energy trying to give fashion advice to my less fortunate fellow footballers. And I'm sure you're wondering why this is still going on long after the festivities have ended. Well my friends I realized that I like helping my teammates and other footballers fix their fashion faux pas, and I made a resolution to continue doing it, so you see I found a new source to channel my frustration into.
So why return now?
Something happened my friends. Something happened that made me say to hell with my resolution and return to complaining to you.
Have you guessed what I'm talking about by now?
No? Well I'll tell you.
Messi won the Ballon D'or! He stole what I truthfully deserved.
How could they do this to me?
Don't they know that I'm the best thing that has happened in the world of football, and that they should always show their respect by honouring me all the time?!!
But do they do that? Noooooo! Instead they give my award to that 13 year old midget, otherwise known as Messi, who probably doesn't even know how to tie his own shoelaces.
And I spent so much time getting ready for the stupid show, and I was so excited. Look at me I look fabulous in my tux, I'm perfect. And now look at Messi in his tweed jacket! What did he do, hire a bunch of as his stylist?
I can't even wrap my head around this, and being as big as it is, my head usually wraps around anything.
I'm off now, I'm going to go and drown my sorrows in delicious appletinies, and then fall into a deep slumber. Maybe when I wake up, I will realize that all of this was just a horrible nightmare!
Diver Boy

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