The tweets this time are a courtesy of Michael Owen, who just recently joined the twitterverse
Apparantly Mr. Owen here was attempting his luck at comedy, my initial reaction was that he should stick to football, but he's injured and off the pitch most of the time that I can't even say that because at this rate I would say that Robin Van Persie's son Shaqueel Van Persie is getting more time on the field than our friend Owen here.
Umm hey guys, obviously i'm not cristiano, although i might be just as awesome as he is, maybe even more, but don't tell him that he will throw a fucking tantrum and ill never hear the end of it.
I guess you're confused as to why I'm here, and i'm sure you're wondering about the whereabouts of Ronaldo. Don't worry i haven't killed him and stashed his body in my underground lair, I would never do that to him, he is me dear friend, and sometimes more than a friend! What I mean is he is like a brother to me. Anyways well i was having a rough day and Ronnie told me when he has a hard time or when something is bothering him, he comes here and he talks about the issue and that it makes him feel better, and he offered to let me take his spot.
So now to the problem. Let me tell you about what has made me so distraught. I lost my headband that has my inititials on it! I'm so grief stricken, how will i possibly play football with so much talent without it, i mean after all it my good luck charm, we won the world cup while i was wearing that headband, that's gotta mean something. And now it's gone forever, I don't think I can go on living without it, my life is so pointless, my soul isn't complete without it! Plus my mommy is going to kill me for losing it, oh god she's gonna yell at me so loudly that my eardrums are going to burst! Damn it!
And the worst part is I feel like I will forever feel sad and morose.
I mean Iker offered to kiss me, but even that didn't cheer me up, and it usually makes all my problems disappear.
I guess it's safe to say that I pretty much despise Cristiano Ronaldo, but here are 5 reasons why I'm glad he exists:
5) Football would be so boring without his diving, whining and crying.
2) Decreasing the rate of people who sleep around, because Ronnie here has probably created a strain of super mutant mixture of STDs, which is resistant and has no cure, and no one will ever find a cure for it, ever. Oh and if you're wondering what it does to you, well I don't know yet, but it's horrible, terrible, disgusting! So don't sleep around people, just say no!
1) And finally, I get to make fun of him, and it's really fun making fun of Ronaldo, and let's face it without him my blog wouldn't even exist.
So thank you Ronaldo for being alive, because I don't even know how I would possibly go through my day to day life without you there to entertain me.
So I was watching Special 1 TV the other, which is like the best online series about football, well no shit since it's hosted by none other than the special one himself, Jose Mourinho, along with the Wayne Rooney, and previously Sven. But recently Sven was sacked, and temporarily replaced by Fabio "Cabbage" Capello, and his segment on the show is called "Footballers' Tweets". But just like South Africa, this was also a complete fail, thanks to the Cabbage.
Here's a video of the episode in which the Cabbage first replaces Svenn
Well, I decided that I'm going to adopt this idea on my blog, but unlike Capello, I'm going to make it work.
It's simple I have to find cute, witty, sarcastic, or funny footballers' tweets and post them.
But sometimes footballers can be rather dull, so we just have to be patient and wait for the oppurtune moment to strike.
Yes I know that made no sense, but whatever.
So here are the tweets I chose for this week, they're not out of this world amazing, but they're good enough.
The tweets are courtesy of Jack Wilshere and Cesc Fabregas
Here we go:
cesc4official: @jack_wilshere loves his twitter more than his girlfriend
jack_wilshere: @cesc4official im trying to beat how many followers you have!!
cesc4official: @jack_wilshere dont be jelouse, u will get there one day son.
Well, that's it, hopefully by the time i find other tweets, Cesc would have improved his spelling, but I'm sure regardless of that we'll all still love him
Just kidding, only arsenal fans love him, and maybe Barcelona (but that's more of an unhealthy obssession than love)
That's it for now
Cheers
Apparantly Mr. Owen here was attempting his luck at comedy, my initial reaction was that he should stick to football, but he's injured and off the pitch most of the time that I can't even say that because at this rate I would say that Robin Van Persie's son Shaqueel Van Persie is getting more time on the field than our friend Owen here.
