Umm hey guys, obviously i'm not cristiano, although i might be just as awesome as he is, maybe even more, but don't tell him that he will throw a fucking tantrum and ill never hear the end of it.
I guess you're confused as to why I'm here, and i'm sure you're wondering about the whereabouts of Ronaldo. Don't worry i haven't killed him and stashed his body in my underground lair, I would never do that to him, he is me dear friend, and sometimes more than a friend! What I mean is he is like a brother to me. Anyways well i was having a rough day and Ronnie told me when he has a hard time or when something is bothering him, he comes here and he talks about the issue and that it makes him feel better, and he offered to let me take his spot.
So now to the problem. Let me tell you about what has made me so distraught. I lost my headband that has my inititials on it! I'm so grief stricken, how will i possibly play football with so much talent without it, i mean after all it my good luck charm, we won the world cup while i was wearing that headband, that's gotta mean something. And now it's gone forever, I don't think I can go on living without it, my life is so pointless, my soul isn't complete without it! Plus my mommy is going to kill me for losing it, oh god she's gonna yell at me so loudly that my eardrums are going to burst! Damn it!
And the worst part is I feel like I will forever feel sad and morose.
I mean Iker offered to kiss me, but even that didn't cheer me up, and it usually makes all my problems disappear.
I'm going to go and continue wallowing elsewhere, and feeling sorry for myself. Tell Ronaldo that this didn't make me feel better :(
xoxo
The Ramos
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